I’m inlove with a fictional character

I’m in-love with a fictional character. Yes its true, but I wont say who that character is. I can’t help it, if only in reality there’s really that perfect guy. A guy who would understand you, or if not he would try his very best to, who forgives your shortcomings and adores your quirks. A guy who will love you body and soul, worship the very ground you walk on and looks at you like you’re the most gorgeous woman in the world and will never ever look at any girl the same way for as long as he lives. He is faithful, romantic, honest, understanding, compassionate, kind and madly in love with you and he doesnt have to be insanely attractive, but has his own alluring charm. Yup he is Mr. Perfect, ofcourse it’s every girls dream to be with that type of male, why deny it?… I really wish this guy is real.. that he is somewhere out there. That I have a perfect mate, one who is solely for me, the one I need the most.

I couldn’t help but compare this fictional character with my current boyfriend. I’m feeling pretty guilty about that, but I am so unhappy that I wish that my guy would be that man.  Yes I’m wishing for something unattainable, ofcourse no one is perfect, in real life you just have to settle for the one thats there for you. But something is missing in my life that I couldn’t help myself but fall for a man in a book. The ifs are adding up everyday…

If only my guy is that understanding, if only he would be that romantic, if only he would look at me like that, if only he would be less temperamental, if only he would treat me that way… if…if… then i will not feel this way.

I’m hating myself for this. Why can’t I be contented? But I truly can’t deny that I wanted so much more. Should I just settle for what I have now? Or wish for something else? Wish for someone who would truly make me happy? My boyfriend would definitely get mad when he reads this entry, but thats just it, he doesnt care for things like this, he only read my blog once, didn’t even remembered what I wrote and I’m the one who told him to read it, he was never interested in the first place. But that fictional character I was talking about, he adores every single thing his woman does and he is deeply devoted that anything she does interest him the most, if I have a guy like that he would have read every single thing I wrote here and have them memorized. Theres also that intensity in there relationship that I envy, and he would go mad being apart from his girl even for just an hour or a day. My bf would go for days without seeing me, infact I only see him on fridays and on weekends, ofcourse, I understand that my house is miles from his, but he has a car, but gah ofcourse, I can’t force him to go everyday at my house, anyway, I am not that possessive and overly demanding so I really am okay with just seeing him on those days. I’m just wishing that on those days he would do something special for me, but every time we meet, we end up getting on each others nerves. Am I being demanding if I wanted him to treat me the way I want to be treated? And lets talk about the kiss! Oh my, I wish a guy would kiss me like that fictional character kiss, a very romantic kiss that will turn your brain to soup, a heart-pounding mind-numbling kiss! sigh… a girl can dream

Darn it, I should just be content and be happy with what I have now… that dream guy will never exist and no matter how I wish for it, in real life theres no fairy tale, get over it and move on…. I just wanted to get this off my chest so I posted it here.  It’s just a dream, and dreams are dreams…

If only I can live in that dream… :/


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